These cookies are another one of the greatest things ever. They have only four ingredients, of which the main one is Nutella! For anyone who doesn’t know the greatness of Nutella, it’s a gooey, chocolatey, hazelnut spread by Ferrero (the same people who make those delicious chocolate/hazelnut bon bons). Next time, I’ll form them into tighter balls instead of scooping them with my cookie dough scoop since they were a tad crumbly.

Nutella Cookies

For the tomato-basil cupcakes:

Ingredients
2 T chopped fresh basil (but not chopped too much)
2 3/4 c all-purpose flour (I used wheat)
2 T baking powder
Pinch of salt
4 lightly beaten eggs
1/2 c olive oil
10 3/4 oz can of condensed tomato soup
3 T sun-dried tomatoes

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 and grease a 12-cup muffin pan. In a medium bowl, mix the basil, flour, baking powder, and salt with a spoon. In a large bowl, combine the eggs, olive oil, soup, and sun-dried tomatoes with an electric mixer until just combined. Spoon the mixture into the prepared pan and bake for 20 minutes. Remove pan from the oven and cool for 5 minutes then remove the muffins and cool on a rack.

For the sweet corn cupcakes:

Ingredients
3/4 c yellow cornmeal
1 c all-purpose flour (I used wheat)
2 t baking powder
3 T sugar
Pinch of salt
2 eggs
1 c milk
4 T melted butter

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 and place 12 paper baking cups into a muffin pan. In a medium bowl, stir the dry ingredients. Beat the eggs, milk, and butter in a large bowl with an electric mixer until combined, then add the flour mixture to the egg mixture and stir until just combined. Spoon the batter into the cups and bake for 20 minutes. Remove pan and cool for 5 minutes then remove the cupcakes and cool on a rack.

For the pesto cream cheese icing:

Ingredients
1/2 c basil pesto
1 1/2 c cream cheese, softened
12 cherry tomatoes

Directions
Beat the pesto and cream cheese with an electric mixer until smooth and creamy. Smear the frosting onto the cooled cupcakes and top with the cherry tomatoes.

Ingredients:
1 3/4 c unbleached wheat or spelt flour (I used spelt)
2 t ground cinnamon
1 t ground ginger
2 t baking soda
1/2 t unprocessed sea salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk plus 1 1/2 t vinegar
1/2 c expeller-pressed oil
2/3 c molasses

Preheat the oven to 350. Place mini muffin cups in 24 mini muffin tins.

Sift the flour, cinnamon, ginger, baking soda, and salt into a bowl; set aside.

Combine the eggs and milk mixture in a large bowl and beat until well mixed.

Heat the oil and molasses in a saucepan over medium heat just to boiling and remove from the heat. Add the molasses mixture to the egg mixture alternately with dry ingredients.

Pour into the prepared pan and bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 10-15 minutes. Cool muffins in the pan for 15 minutes, then invert onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Serve with natural whipped cream or ice cream.

Dave is known for his saying, “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” We are beginning to reap the benefits of living like no one else “later,” now. With no payments besides regular bills (rent, electricity, water, cell phone, etc.), we’re able to save like crazy, then spend on things we want, in CA$H. Over the last few months I saved and saved. A few days ago, I paid up-front for a new MacBook Pro, because I worked hard, and because I wanted it. It’s true that I actually needed a computer; my Dell died almost a year ago. But we were still paying off debt, so it was put on the back burner.  Once our debt was gone, I began saving for the computer I needed, and decided I wanted a nice MacBook instead of a Dell. Yes, Macs are more expensive than PCs. Because we are debt-free, I was able to go beyond what I needed and pay up-front for my MacBook, which I wanted. It is very rewarding!

I recommend Dave Ramsey’s plan to anyone out there, married or single, who wants to LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE. It’s one of the best things we’ve ever done, and we’ll never worry about money again!

The hospice nurse woke up my Mimi so she could be at his bedside. She told him, “It’s ok,” and said she couldn’t even tell when he took his last breath.

He’d been declining rapidly for the last two weeks or so and I came home as quickly as I could (my family lives ~6 hours away from where my husband & I reside). On Thursday morning I woke up at 4am, took the earliest flight out, and went straight to their house. Right before you enter their neighborhood there’s a set of train tracks. I saw an incoming train and had to wait for it, then the stupid thing ended up stopping and blocking the road to their neighborhood. I couldn’t help but think, after traveling so far, that there was a huge train between my dying grandfather and me. Of course I turned around and went a different way, but that just put the icing on the cake.

I was able to talk to him while he was still living, although he was in a comatose state and didn’t respond at all. According to my medical knowledge, hearing is the last sense to go before people die, so I just talked to him as if he could understand me. It broke my heart to see him that way, but he seemed to be pain-free and comfortable.

My Paw Paw was a very strong, but stubborn man. Even though his body was full of chemotherapy drugs, he continued tending to his farm and cattle about 30 minutes outside of town until late April and always had his dark brown dachshund, Tootsie-Boy, along for the ride. Also, he even insisted on driving himself to-and-from his chemo treatments; how many people do you know who are able to take chemo then drive themselves home?

Before his bout with cancer, there are stories like this: His truck, along with others, got stuck in the mud in a pasture. They pushed out the smallest truck, a little Toyota, then he drove up the street to get help from a neighbor. When he returned, they could hear what sounded like an army tank coming down the road then they looked and saw Paw Paw on top of a bulldozer which he’d brought to get the trucks out. :)

My family and I are relieved that he’s not suffering anymore and lingering on in that comatose state. We’re also praising God that he’s now in the arms of Jesus. I’ll see him again someday.

As usual, life happened and I forgot about my other certificate until recently. So, this Saturday I’m going back to the studio and making four fused glass 4×4 tiles! I loved the process of making the plate and am thinking up color and pattern ideas for my tiles. I might display them on our mantle below my colorful, abstract metal art piece that’s hanging on the wall. :)

On their website I read that they’re also offering a new workshop: fused glass jewelry! I’ll have to sign up!

My new job has been great and I’m learning a ton. I’ve been mostly independent with patient care and am progressing more each day. There’s a “competency book” that my preceptors write in each shift and my educator reviews it to see if there’s anything I might need from them.  According to what they’ve been writing, it looks like I’m not progressing and like I’m missing things that I should be getting by now; I should be in phase 5, but what they’ve written makes it look like I’m only halfway through phase 3. In my opinion, I’m exactly where I should be. When I’m working, I’m always aware of what’s going on with my patient; I just don’t verbalize what’s in my head to my preceptors so their perception ends up being, “Stephani doesn’t get it.” My educator and preceptors have said that I’m very good with the patients and their families and that I have the “special ability” to connect with them. That’s great, but I need them to know I’m not just about the cute, gushy stuff and I’m very aware of the fact that my patients are extremely fragile and can turn for the worst at any moment. I’m just so frustrated because I thought I was excelling and because the way I don’t verbalize things is just a part of my reserved personality.

I have the same communication problem at home with my husband. An example is my wedding ring. I adore it and think it’s beautiful, so I don’t want to mess it up when I wear it to work. Shortly after getting married, I asked my husband for a plain, silver band to wear to work because “I didn’t want to mess up my wedding ring.” That’s what I told him – that I didn’t want to mess it up. I never got a silver band. Yesterday I was explaining my frustrating work situation to him, and after 655 days of marriage found out that had I explained more to him, he would’ve gladly gotten not a silver, but a white gold band for me to wear to work. He took “I don’t want to mess it up” as “The one you got me isn’t good enough.” If I had said, “At work, I’m constantly using my hands, washing them, putting on and taking off gloves, and hitting them on things. My ring is beautiful and I’m nervous about losing any of the diamonds,” he would’ve understood what was in my mind and that I am grateful for my wedding ring.

Why can’t I just pull this stuff out of myself so that people can perceive what I’m thinking?! It makes me want to scream!

Also, at work it’s been difficult to meet new people and my preceptor straight-up told me, “You might try smiling more.” Generally, I’m a happy, pleasant person who is friendly to everyone. However, my relaxed demeanor makes me appear agitated or unapproachable and, again, my personality is reserved. I don’t outwardly show sunshine, but if you tell me hello I’ll smile and say hello back then you’ll see that I AM approachable. A lot of the people at work have been there at least a year and have understandably formed friendships, but when they see a new face they should make a pronounced effort to at least introduce themselves. I’m so busy trying to learn everything and trying to pile CHANGING MY INGRAINED DEMEANOR just makes it So. Much. Harder.

The cherry on top is that my Paw Paw (maternal grandfather) has been battling colon cancer for almost four years and the doctors just gave him 3-6 months to live. His mind is completely intact, so he’s aware of his pain and embarassment and I’m sure he misses tending to his farm, which I think made him feel like he had purpose. My mommah and aunt (his daughters) just met with hospice the other day, which makes his situation completely real to me. I don’t think I’ve ever been in denial about his illness but knowing that his path is ending now saddens me greatly. I’ve cried every day since hearing that, and at work I just have to be strong, get my business done, and keep my patients safe.

These piles on my shoulders couldn’t be any harder to bear. Please pray for people to understand me and for my Paw Paw to be humble enough to agree to hospice and for the rest of his days to be calm and without pain.

I know I’m not a 16-year-old girl anymore, so looking like I did in high school isn’t logical. I think that my goal of hitting my pre-marriage weight is a good one, since I’ve only been married about 1 & 1/2 years (or 549 days).

Yesterday I joined my local Curves and had a good workout. I like it because only women go there and it’s geared to work out your entire body each time. No more trying to figure out which muscle group to work on at the gym. No more weird dudes ”giving you the eye” at the gym. No more nasty sweat and MRSA all over the equipment. No more feeling like a fool when you can’t figure out how a machine works. No more searching for someone to show you how that machine works after you finish looking like a fool.

The idea of Curves is to work out for 30 minutes three times a week. If you work out hard, you can burn 500 calories per workout.

Also, I’m putting some DVDs I already had to good use. One is cardio-Pilates, and the other is power-walking. I bet my neighbor below me appreciates that a lot!

And to top it off, I’m trying to make better decisions when it comes to what I eat. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m addicted to Coca-Cola and that I love having a glass of wine or a sugary pastry. I know that those things are ok in moderation, but I’m not a good moderator. I’ve just gotta do it! I’m not going to do a specific diet. I’m just going to try to do my best to make better choices.

My husband has gotten me a few good cookbooks from Williams Sonoma that I want to use soon. Also, I downloaded an app on my iPhone from Real Simple, which I love. You put in the time you have (20, 30, or 40 minutes) and what base ingredient you have (meat, pasta, etc.), then it pops up a list of hundreds of recipes. It’s amazing!

Wish me luck, although I’d rather be baking and eating cookies!

Something I’ve been dying to talk about since August is this: I’m expanding my horizons as a registered nurse at the end of January. I accepted an internship at a large hospital for children in Dallas in the cardiac ICU. I’ll be working with children ages 0-18 that have life-threatening heart problems. There will be babies with congenital heart defects waiting for surgery, babies with open chests (exposed heart) that are in-between surgeries, children waiting for and recovering from heart and heart/liver transplants, kids with various mechanical hearts keeping them alive from outside of their bodies, and more. It’s a wonderful opportunity for my career and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead!

Back in August, I attended an RN open house event that the hospital had opened to the public. For a long time, I’ve wanted to work in NICU (neonatal ICU; preemies, etc.), but there were no available positions. So, I decided I’d look into PICU, which is drastically different, but you still care for kids in critical condition. While I was talking with them, I felt we had good rapport and they invited me to tour the unit.  I toured the neuro/trama PICU, which was really interesting – but I didn’t think I could work with children who don’t look like “regular people” because of severe trauma. Also, I told them that, ideally, I want to work with infants. They said I should look into CICU (cardiac ICU) because they treat babies with congenital heart issues as well as older children.

So I talked with the CICU interviewers and felt an even greater rapport with them - they happened to be the unit manager and the director of everything cardiac at that hospital – which was a blessing because they hold so much weight there. They invited me to come in for a “shadow shift” so I could observe a nurse in the unit and decide if I’d like it there. The shadow shift experience was amazing. I loved the little boy that the nurse was caring for and was fascinated by him and the other kids on the unit. They said that they were interested in hiring me, but the internship positions for September had been filled prior to the open house. Also, they said if I was willing to wait until the next internship in January, that I could have a position if I wanted it. I accepted immediately.

I have been waiting for five months, unable to share my excitement. If the management at my other facility became aware of my resignation too early, I could’ve been mistreated and lost shifts due to low census and cancellation. I hated having to hide it and lie to some people, but getting paychecks for working full-time was too important. I gave my official two weeks’ notice on January 3rd, and worked my last shift yesterday. I felt very appreciated and was told that I could return anytime, if I wanted.

It’s bittersweet because for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to work with newborns and I just gave it up. I learned a ton about them, but over time, began feeling like an over-qualified babysitter. Yes, attending deliveries was miraculous and amazing each time, but when deliveries became high-risk and when infants became sick, they were transported to the NICU and I didn’t get to care for them any longer. Most of the time, though, I was working with parents who wanted help changing diapers, swaddling, holding bottles, holding breasts, dressing babies, etc. I taught them very basic baby care which seemed like it should become common sense after being taught once or twice. But the majority of them would act helpless, literally, even after four days of staying in the hospital. Here are some examples. Just a few.

-After being instructed to touch their baby with a cool, damp washcloth to help her wake up for breastfeeding, the parents decided to put her in a blanket that was filled with ice.

-Upon requesting assistance with breastfeeding, mothers would just lay in bed with their arms by their sides and not even attempt to participate in holding their kid in order to feed him, expecing the nurse to just stand there for an hour holding him to her boob. There was also a mother who had her husband hold the kid to her breast for every single feeding while she just laid there. She ended up sore, cracked, and bleeding because she’d never listen to our instructions.

-Parents said, “He moves around so much. How can we make him be still?”

-Other parents asked, “How can we keep his hands out of his mouth?”

-A baby’s aunt was caught breastfeeding him, so that the mother could skip a feeding here and there in order to sleep. And then they wondered why he was losing too much weight.

-While trying to breastfeed, mothers often said, “He’s not taking the breast. He’s not getting any milk.” Yes, he is, actually. Do you see him there suckling? Does he fall asleep after feeding?

Finally, my favorite, and the most common one.

-Parents would call the nursery and say, “My baby is crying.” Or, they would push the screaming kid to the nursery in his bassinet and ask, “What’s wrong with him?” They had to be instructed, time and time again, to check/change their kid’s diaper, feed him, or just hold him…then they’d be surprised when he went to sleep.

Those things will not be missed. But I did have little moments to cuddle with them and enjoy their tiny sounds and movements. That will be missed.

And I got the best advice from a coworker who’s been a nurse for over 20 years. She said, whenever I want to, I can always go back to caring for healthy newborns.

That’s the beauty of being a nurse.

I just finished getting our home all decorated and am loving it! My tree has a rustic theme again. I love it and can’t seem to part with it…especially since I already have so many “rustic” ornaments. Maybe, one day, once we have a house and a bigger tree, I’ll change the theme.

I decorated my mantle with some sparkly fruit ornaments and berry branches. I think it turned out pretty well. I adore our stockings! My super-talented friend made them for us last year.

Another super-talented friend of mine who’s an awesome, avid blogger, is hosting a ”handmade holiday giveaway” this year in light of the spirit of giving. Some of the things on her list so far are crocheted cowl scarves, earrings and necklaces, and a very cute embroidery kit. To check it out, visit her blog, think liz.

I have some crafty projects in progress myself. Hopefully I’ll get them done soon and post some photos!

Happy December!